The Magic of Forgiveness

As a South African I felt a personal obligation to write this. Call it a tribute or a lesson. Last Friday was probably one of the saddest days in the history of mankind. The weight of sorrow could be felt around the globe. The world mourned the death of a great man.

But what defines greatness? I suppose we could argue all day about the definition of the word. Many of us would have differing opinions, I’m sure. See, I think greatness does not only lie in great acts or feats. Greatness is not always something that has to be seen in a person’s actions. Greatness can lie in a simple thought or feeling.

There are many reasons why people think Nelson Mandela was great. Usually the reason has to do with his role as a freedom fighter- standing up to an oppressive regime; languishing in prison for 27 years for fighting for what he believed in; unifying and leading a divided country into a new era. You will also hear accounts of his humility from every person who has met him.

But for me his ability to unify a divided nation lay in a simple act. The act of forgiveness.

I’ve used the word ‘simple’ twice so far. Perhaps wrong of me since the act of forgiving is far from simple.
Why did I admire Madiba so much, why do I think he was such a great man? Well, because I’m the least forgiving person I know.
I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who can claim guilt. I think everyone harbours some degree of resentment when it comes to being wronged. We have all been wronged at some point in our lives whether it was by our former friends, best friends, lovers, colleagues, bosses, relatives or even by people we don’t even know. I, for one, have the horrible habit of holding grudges long after everything is over.

"What did you say about me while I was in prison? *POW*" - ...exactly what did NOT happen.

“What did you say about me while I was in prison? *POW*” – …exactly what did NOT happen.

I’m sure many people would have behaved differently if they were in Madiba’s shoes. If they had just been released from prison after a very, very long time, and had the power he had, I’m sure the first thing they would liked to have done was to don their gloves on, use his well-known boxing skills and punch those captors in the face! Then I’m sure they would have gone to Malan’s, Verwoerd’s and Vorster’s and punched all of them in the face too! (Which would not make any sense since they were all dead by then, but you get what I’m saying here). While I was preparing this post, my boyfriend related to me the story(which I was not entirely aware of) of Madiba’s visit to Betsie Verwoerd shortly after becoming President. In a gargantuan step towards reconciliation, he defied logic by having tea with the wife of the man who was responsible for imprisoning him!

That is why Nelson Mandela was great. He came out not only forgiving his oppressors but embracing them too. It might seem like a simple human thing to do, but how many of us would have? It truly takes greatness and courage to make such a step.

After 1994 there was an aggressive aim towards reformation. Everything had to be changed- the flag, emblems, street names. Then there was the Springbok emblem debacle. Why was it a debacle? Because everyone wanted our national rugby team’s logo to be changed…except one person.

Rugby was not just considered a white man’s sport, it was an ‘Afrikaner sport.’ That springbok image came to embody everything that was associated with Apartheid. Yet our Tata wanted to keep it. Not only did he manage to convince the relevant authorities to keep the image, he would take it a step further by wearing it.

I can imagine a thousand years from now, legend will state that it was his act of wearing that Springbok jersey with Francois Pienaar’s No.6 on it that won us the 1995 Rugby World Cup.
Yes it’s true. An all white team (bar one player) represented us in the final that year. Did it matter? No. Because on that day Madiba rendered skin colour insignificant. It was one of those moments that were so magical Hollywood had to go and make a movie of it. As for the Springbok, it has since shed its pre-Democratic associations. It is now a symbol of victory and unity. The man managed to change the symbology of an emblem. That’s true magic. Madiba Magic.

And that’s what lies in the power of forgiveness. Nelson Mandela had no hatred in his heart and his attitude brought peace to this country. Imagine how the world would change if we all followed in his footsteps?

Unfortunately the likes of Nelson Mandela will never be seen again, not for a very long time at least. Such greatness in man is rare which is why our country, and the world, weeps.


Nelson_Mandela,_2000_(5)“As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn’t leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I’d still be in prison.”
– Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela, 1918 – 2013

NM 😦

The Tokoloshe – An HML Post

African folklore is rich with stories of famous legends, morality tales, supernatural beings and mythical creatures. Yet they do seem to go unnoticed by the rest of the world.

In the spirit world Europe is famous for its sprites, fairies and goblins. South Africa has its very own version of a diminutive monster which has a reputation for being a source of chaos and terror.

The Tokoloshe is a well-known myth in South Africa, yet to many people it is more than a myth – it is a genuine cause for concern and fear.

A famous sketch of the Tokoloshe.

The word ‘tokoloshe’ is Xhosa in origin and refers to a dwarf-life creature, an African version of the European sprite or brownie. SA’s foremost expert on African culture, the venerable Dr. Credo Mutwa describes the tokoloshe as resembling a ‘ghastly-looking teddy-bear with a hairy body with a sharp bony ridge on its head’. It’s also known to be so well-endowed that it actually carries its extremely long penis over its shoulder (I’m not making this up).

The tokoloshe is a malevolent creature that is said to be conjured up by powerful witchdoctors who use it to cause trouble and inflict terror upon their enemies or the enemies of their clients. In some South African households people still raise their beds up on bricks to prevent the midget-like creature from jumping on. Whether the existence of the Tokoloshe is true or not, the fact that peoples’ beliefs are influenced by this supernatural being cannot be denied. As a result it is often blamed for many disasters and misfortunes.

If I had to list all the murderers who have held the Tokoloshe responsible for the crimes they committed, I would need a couple of more blog posts to do so. I’ll highlight two famous cases for you though, one from the past and one currently making headlines.

During the years 1953 – 1955 one of SA’s most famous serial killers Elifasi Msomi, otherwise known as the Axe Killer, went on a killing spree, murdering 15 people (men, women and children) in the province of Kwa-Zulu Natal. He claimed that a tokoloshe sat on his shoulder ordering him to kill.

Headline from a SA newspaper in the 1950's. Image taken from Wikipedia

Msomi escaped twice from the police, attributing his lucky breaks to this evil demon. After each escape, he went on to kill more people before finally being captured for the last time. At his execution, the judge allowed the presence of no less than 9 Zulu chieftains to ensure that the tokoloshe did not save him from the hangman’s noose.

That case happened almost 60 years ago. I draw your attention now to a recent event that made headlines in our local newspapers.

On July 19th 2008, 29-year-old Nicolette Lotter stabbed her mother Maria to death, while her brother Hardus strangled their father Johannes. The siblings did not hesitate to confess. Nicolette’s boyfriend at the time, Matthew Naidoo, was also implicated in the murders. According to both brother and sister, Naidoo had considerable influence over them and convinced the siblings to kill their parents. According to Nicolette, he claimed to be the ‘Son of God’ and that their parents deserved to die.

In 2011, Nicolette Lotter dropped a bombshell, claiming that she had been sexually molested by a tokoloshe that often visited her at night. The attacks only stopped when she became intimate with Naidoo. Naidoo became her saviour so-to-speak. Nicolette also accused her domestic worker of practising witchcraft on her and causing her psychological distress. Both siblings were sentenced to 12 years in prison each while Naidoo was given a life sentence

Apart from murder and other crimes, the Tokoloshe has also been blamed for the spread of HIV Aids; and not just in South Africa but in other parts of the African continent as well. One report from Zimbabwe years back claimed that a great percentage of Aids counsellors in the country were convinced that the Tokoloshe visited women at night and raped them in their beds thus spreading the virus. (

Nicolette Lotter stands trial at the Durban High Court. Image taken from Pretoria News.

On a personal note, the one thing that fascinates me about the myth of the tokoloshe is that its influence crosses cultural and racial boundaries. South Africa is a verifiable melting-pot. But with our turbulent past (consider racial segregation), belief in this little demon is not culturally exclusive. If you are South African or have affiliations with the country in some way, whatever your ethnicity, knowledge of the Tokoloshe is naturally assumed even if you do not believe in it.

If you are from SA and have a story to tell, please don’t hesitate! And if you are not, what do you think about this mischievous little devil of ours?

Don’t forget to check out the great links below for more information on the Tokoloshe!

NM 🙂

Tokoloshe Influences


Tokoloshe (1971) – starring Sid James, Mangosuthu Buthelezi

Blood Tokoloshe (2012) –  dir. Jordan Harland

A Reasonable Man (1999) – starring Nigel Hawthorne, Gavin Hood


Tales of the Tokoloshe – Pieter Scholtz and Cherie Treweek (Struik Publishers)

The Tokoloshe Stone – Jay Heale (Tafelberg Publishers)

The Little Man – Nisha Moodley (unpublished) (Sorry, I couldn’t help a little bit of selfless self-promotion there, LOL)


‘Evil Boy’ (2010) – Die Antwoord (Cherrytree Records)

‘Hosh Tokoloshe’ (2011) – Jack Parow (Parowphernalia)



All info on the Lotter case taken from

Part 2- An audio book review of Nelson Mandela’s Favourite African Folktales

This is a continuation of yesterday’s post on a review of Nelson Mandela’s Favourite African Folktales.

Gillian Anderson is one of the star-studded cast that lent their vocal talents to this audio book. Anderson’s voice is almost regal-like as she reads The Guardian of the Pool.

A Cinderella-like tale called Natiki was read by British actress Parminder Nagra. I’m such a big fan of the ER and Bend It Like Beckham star but why, oh, why didn’t anyone coach this poor woman on the pronunciation of some of the words? (Ms. Nagra, “veld” is pronounced “felt”, FYI). On a more comical note, I found CCH Pounder’s pronunciation of Sannie Langtand in Sannie Langtand and the Visitor quite funny and couldn’t help chuckling (it’s pronounced Sunny Lung-tunt, not Sanny Lang-tan 😀 ).

Other famous names were more professional in their efforts although I was quite surprised at how boring some celebrity voices could be! Fellow South African Charlize Theron nearly put me off to sleep with her reading of The Message. I think she should stick to working on-screen.

Hugh Jackman on the other hand, seemed slightly confused when reading Wolf and Jackal and the Barrel of Butter. It was like he couldn’t make up his mind whether to use his natural Australian accent or adopt a British one. His voice oscillated between Aussie and English which I found quite distracting and as a result I didn’t enjoy what seemed like an exciting story.

I know it sounds like I’m whinging but I do have some words of praise left for Don Cheadle, Sophie Okonedo and LaTanya Richardson Jackson.

I enjoyed Cheadle’s reading of Fesito goes to Market and British actress Okonedo put a lot of effort for The Hare and Tree Spirit. She has a powerful voice and the accents she employed have to be commended. I was also impressed with Samuel L. Jackson’s wife LaTanya Richardson’s animated telling of Sakunaka, the Handsome Young Man. She has incredible energy and she really brought the story to life.

One of the best things about this audio book, for me personally, was the music. Vusi Mahlasela and Johnny Clegg both provided the music, the background sounds and songs for the stories. I was so enamoured with Mahlasela’s song on Mpipidi and Motlopi Tree (read by Matt Damon) and the fact that he wrote and composed it himself, impressed me even more.

I forgot to mention in the first post that the first track on the collection is an opening message by the Archbishop of Awesomeness Emeritus Desmond Tutu. It’s a short message, so I thought I’d end this audiobook review by reproducing his message here:

May we always remember that we are part of one human family. We are all God’s children. We can build a world where each boy and girl has a safe place to live, enough food to eat and enough clothes to wear. You were made to be something wonderful. May you discover all the good that lies within you. May God bless you.

Remember that a good percentage of the purchase of this audio book goes to the Nelson Mandela’s Childrens’ Fund, helping to empower children and communities affected by HIV/Aids so if you would like to get yourself a copy and help a good cause you can go to

Continue reading

An Audio Book review of Nelson Mandela’s Favourite African Folktales – Part 1

I absolutely love audio books. It’s not often you see an audio book review so I thought I’d attempt one for Nelson Mandela’s Favourite African Folktales.

This collection of stories was produced by Artists For A New South Africa in 2009 but I only discovered it in my local bookstore earlier this year and bought it a few months back. I was excited about it, not only because a sizeable percentage of the proceeds go to the Nelson Mandela’s Childrens’ Fund, but also because of the stellar cast of Hollywood celebrities who lent their talents to this project.

So many famous names provide their voices for this audio book, that I have split this review in two lest I bore you! So bear with me as I run through them and critique their efforts-you might just find your favourite actor mentioned here!

It was a very smart move getting British veterans Alan Rickman and Helen Mirren on board for this one. I’ve always said that if my book was ever to be made into an audiobook (that’s considering if they ever get published in the first place, of course. I’m an eternal optimist!), I would want Rickman to be the one to read it. And he doesn’t disappoint here as he reads The Ring Of The King while Mirren is incredible as she reads the very poetic The Mother Who turned to Dust.

I’m dreading what I inevitably need to say next, for as much I want to be honest, I risk being harsh and slightly offensive in my analysis. Please understand this is not my intention. It’s just that as these are traditional African stories, hearing typically American accents reading them, seems quite incongruous. I’m not picking, it would be the same if it was, say a Russian or Chinese accent (yet for some strange reason, an Englishman can get away with reading anything!).
After hearing Matt Damon read Mpipidi and the Motlopi Tree and Whoopi Goldberg’s Asmodeus and the Bottler of Djinns (these were on the first CD so naturally I listened to them first), I started to worry as most of the performers on this audio book are American. I found Damon and Goldberg slightly disappointing (although I was impressed with Damon’s pronunciation of some difficult words) as were Forest Whitaker, Blair Underwood and Samuel L. Jackson.

Not all the American stars were disappointing though. Some of them were surprising in a pleasant way.

I found Star Trek’s LeVar Burton’s reading of Van Hunks and the Devil very enjoyable as was Jurnee Smollett’s telling of The Enchanting Song of the Magical Bird.
I was very surprised by Scarlet Johansson (who I didn’t expect much from, to be honest). She has a delightfully sweet voice and it suited the story of The Snake Chief.

The person I’m most impressed with however is Benjamin Bratt. He has a silky smooth voice and he knows how to control it. You actually forget that he’s American when you are listening to The Wolf Queen. He should read for more audio books, methinks because I can definitely listen to his voice the whole day if I had to.

Bratt’s reading was definitely the best of all the performers.Now for the worst.

I have to say that the biggest joke/idiot award has to go to……….Sean Hayes.

I’m not a professional actor so maybe it’s not my place to say but aren’t thespians supposed to be versatile?

When I pressed PLAY on my CD player for How Hlakanyana Outwitted the Monster, I expected more from Hayes. A change in accent maybe, or even just a slight change in tone or inflection.
Imagine my shock and horror on hearing the unmistakable voice of Jack MacFarlane coming through the speakers and grating my poor ears! And why on earth did they give him the story whose main character’s name is the hardest to pronounce? How Hlakanyana Outwitted the Monster is the only story on the audio book I have not listened to in its entirety, only because it was impossible to do so.

Hayes’ Will and Grace co-star Debra Messing fared much better I thought. She has a nice reading voice, although on telling the more dramatic scenes from Words as Sweet as Honey from Sankhambi, I couldn’t help picturing Grace Adler being overly dramatic and gesticulating wildly in the recording studio!

I guess there’s a reason some actors are only known for the roles that made them famous and nothing else.

I’m not done with this review as yet. There’s more tomorrow! Plus I’ll include a link where you can purchase this audiobook….

NM  🙂

Birthday Girl

The beautiful roses that were delivered to my house on my birthday, courtesy of the Boyfriend.

Last Saturday the Boyfriend took me to a fancy restaurant in Durban to celebrate my birthday. I thought I’d blog about this since I’ve been getting quite a few requests for a ‘birthday post.’ Okay only two people asked me but still, 2 is more than zero and I don’t want to disappoint so…

Anyways, we drive to a place called Roma Revolving-yes, you read right, it is a revolving restaurant and no it doesn’t spin fast like a top.
It completes one revolution every 70-90 minutes, so as you eat, the restaurant is actually turning! A pretty cool concept if you ask me.

The establishment is situated at the top of a building that’s thirty storey’s high so we caught the sights of Durban central from all angles. We even had an excellent view of Moses Mahbida stadium which I sadly failed to capture on film. In fact I didn’t get many pictures from up there although I did manage to capture a pretty view of the harbor when it got darker.
Some of you curious peeps might want to know what I ate. For starters, Boyfriend and I shared a seafood pancake which was absolutely to die for!I had the spinach ravioli (yummy!) for mains and for dessert we got to choose from the dessert tray which they carted around. What was cool was that we could choose half-portions of two desserts so we get to try two different things. Our choices were the chocolate mousse and hazelnut gateau-both were divine. 😀

A big thumbs-up to a great dinner, and thank you to the Boyfriend for spoiling me.
And for you guys, here are some more pics…

A seafood pancake with bechamel sauce 😀

View of the Durban Harbour at night.

That's me, at the entrance to Roma Revolving, trying to look up a Roman legionaire's skirt! Sadly it was a statue so there was nothing to see... 😉

DAY 28 of 30-day Book Challenge – Last book you read

The last book I finished was the second novel in the Spud series – The Madness Continues. I mentioned the first book on Day 3 and Day 4.

I thoroughly enjoyed Spud number 2, although I must admit that it was not as funny as the first one. John Milton (Spud) returns (along with Mad Dog, Rambo, Vern, Boggo, Simon and Fatty) for his 2nd year at the private boarding school. The absence of Gecko, who died in the first book, is duly noted.
We are introduced to a new set of first years (nicknamed the Normal 7) and apart from them there are hardly any new pivotal characters in the sequel. In the classroom and on the cricket pitch and rugby field the usual shenanigans ensue.
The highlight of the book ironically, is Spud’s trip to England with his family. Wombat is in top form once again, and if you thought that she’s one of a kind, you’ll be disturbed to learn that she has a sister – Dingbat, who’s clearly cut from the same cloth. We only get to meet Dingbat briefly however but we are still kept entertained by crazy Wombat and her imperialist tendencies and anecdotes.

I’m happy to report that nobody dies at the end of the Madness Continues. But there is a tragedy that takes the form of an expulsion (I won’t say who gets expelled), and the consequences of Rambo’s affair with Eve, finally come to fruition.

Sequels tend to have a bad reputation for not being as good as their predecessors. I don’t want to write off Spud the second as less brilliant but I’m beginning to understand why it wasn’t as exciting as the first.

In the first book, everything is new and we begin to suss out all the main players and decide who we like or who we don’t like. By the second book, we already know everybody; we already know the ins and outs of the school and what life at home with the Miltons is like. In spite of this, it’s still an enjoyable read, thanks largely to Wombat!
Let’s hope the movie version of The Madness Continues, when it eventually comes out (van de Ruit has apparently withheld the rights to the movie because he wants more people to read the book first!), includes more of her antics. That would do the title some justice.

NM 🙂

DAY 25 – Favourite book you read in school

The one book that definitely made the biggest impression on me in school was To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee.
It has the distinction of being the first book ever to have such an emotional impact on me. I was fuming at the incidences of racism; I felt genuine sympathy for Atticus Finch; I think I cried a little when he shot that dog and I wanted to scream in protest at Mayella Ewell and beat her with a crowbar!

As a South African teenager the issues of racism really hit home and I marveled at the irony of reading an American setbook in school, whose major themes mirrored the very issues we were dealing with in our then fledgling democracy.
To Sir, With Love was another great setbook that also dealt with racism in society and in relationships yet Mockingbird seemed all the more impressive in terms of its messages and its characters.

Set in the American South in 1930’s, Atticus is a literary hero who cannot be easily forgotten. The decision to tell the story from his daughter Scout’s point of view was an excellent one on Lee’s part. She’s such an endearing character, and her innocent but blunt point of view made all the injustices in the book seem greater.

Even the most cynical and stony-hearted person will be moved by this story. I recently picked up Mockingbird to read it for a second time. Being the sensitive little softie that I am, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Not because I would find it boring the second time around, but because I could still remember the storyline very clearly and all the emotions it stirred up within me the first time I read it. Only a true classic can accomplish this.

I feel every person on the planet should read To Kill a Mockingbird at least once in their life, so if you haven’t yet, do yourself a favour and get a copy of this book.

DAY 04 – Book that made you cry

And the winner is…… Spud!

Wait hold on, I hear you say, wasn’t Spud the one that made you laugh? Er, yes.

You see I’m not sure whether John van de Ruit is a goddamn genius or a flippin’ sadist for having done this. My emotions underwent such an unhealthy fluctuation while reading this book that by the end of it I was convinced I was bipolar.

John Cleese plays The Guv with Troye Sivan as Spud in the movie version of the book

I can only imagine what my poor boyfriend was thinking when, after days of bragging to him about how funny this book is and reading extracts to him, he finds me bawling my eyes out as I try to explain inbetween my sobs that Gecko had died.
Everyone I know who read the book was left more or less traumatised by Gecko’s death. After all the incredible humour we were subjected to, the book ended on such a low, I was left with this incredibly empty feeling in the pit of my stomach.

As a result, I officially hate Van de Ruit for having been so so cruel. The bastard.
This however, will not deter me from getting the next two books in the series. Lets hope the madness (and not the sadness) does indeed continue….

NM 🙂

DAY 3 of the 30-day Book Challenge – Book that made you laugh out loud

This was a no-brainer for me.

Spud had me rolling around on the floor with tears in my eyes. Even my cats gave me quizzical looks when I found myself in stitches from reading the antics and quips of the Crazy 8, Wombat, The Guv and off course those parents from hell, the Miltons.

Aaah, Wombat. John van de Ruit really should write a book devoted solely to that mad crone. The Chronicles Of Wombat or something. In fact I don’t care what he calls it, I’d still be the first to go and buy that book. She’s the type of woman you love to read about but secretly relieved that you don’t know in real life. I still cannot believe she was based on an actual person.

The only problem with Spud? The humour only lasts to a certain point. Then the tears of laughter turn to tears of another sort and well, let’s just say I’m not looking forward to tomorrow’s post…

NM 🙂

Day 2 – Least Favourite Book

I’m dreading this but it has to be done.

There are too many ‘least favourites’ to name but I will draw your attention to two books.

The Ghosts Of Sleath by James Herbert will always hold a very special place in my heart. Not because I liked it, oh hell no! I absolutely hated it; I found it torturous to read. Ironically I feel very indebted to this novel, simply because it ignited a spark and woke up the dormant writer in me.
As I read it, it made me sigh with frustration so many times I just thought (without trying to sound arrogant) I’m sure I can do better than this. And that’s when I picked up a pen and paper, 8 years after squashing my dream of being a journalist. So the Ghosts Of Sleath actually inspired me but unfortunately not in a way the author would have hoped.

So strange, yet so true.

Another book I was terribly disappointed with was one I read recently: Disgrace by JM Coetzee.
Maybe it’s because I feel embarrassed after I bigged him up in one of my previous posts that my disillusionment with this book is more pronounced. The fact that it was a Booker Prize winner makes it worse. Having read this novella, I now have some doubts as to the credibility of the Booker Prize.
Anyways, award-winning or not, I didn’t learn a bloody thing from this book, apart from the fact that if you’re a young woman in South Africa, living alone on an isolated farm in the middle of nowhere with very little security is not exactly the smartest thing to do. You don’t need someone from Mensa to tell you this.
The ending was also a big letdown. That’s if you can call it an ending. I kept flipping and turning the last few pages, wondering what happened to the rest of the book.

Okay I think I’ll stop ranting now. I have now made my peace with Disgrace. I look forward to Monday’s post. Laughter, they say, is always the best medicine.

NM 🙂